Monday, February 28, 2011

Hari ini aku senyum

Senyum #1: Proposal projek tahun akhir untuk iklan #1 diterima. Tak sia-sia aku tidur lambat bangun awal nak cari gambar semua. Tapi yang paling banyak buat kerja mestilah Yu Wen, aku ni sah-sah lingkup bab Photoshop. 

Senyum #2: Orang jauh tiba-tiba telefon. Lepas 2 minit lebih dia dah cakap babai. Pelik tak pelik dia ni haha. Tapi yang penting dia hampir menjerit bila dengar suara aku, teruja katanya. Rindu tahap maksima la tu. Walaupun biasanya aku macho dalam situasi macam ni,, tapi hari ni lepas budak KL tu telefon tetiba nak T.T dekat kedai makan tadi.  Nasib baik makan sorang-sorang, tak ada orang perasan kot. Kalau tak mana nak sorok muka macho ni?


Sunday, February 27, 2011

Tentang sedih & terharu

Saya terharu sepanjang seminggu ni. Eh sat, terharu ke sedih?Mungkin keduanya sekali. Terharu sebab adik-adik sayang saya. Siap buat entri dalam blog lagi. Terima kasih ye adik-adik. Terima kasih sebab menghargai kehadiran kakak ampa walaupun...

Sedih sebab saya meratap, mengeluh sedangkan orang lain lagi susah. Geram bila tengok orang lain ambil mudah sesuatu benda tanpa fikir orang lain yang lagi sempit situasinya.
Lagi satu sedih sebab kawan saya dah nak nikah. Sepatutnya saya tumpang gembira tapi, entahlah...mungkin sebab saya sejak dulu lagi tak boleh ngan dengan bakal suami dia. Mungkin juga sebab saya rasa lelaki tu macam rampas kawan saya dari saya(ingat drama ke apa?). Sebab saya sangat manja dengan kawan saya tu hahaha. Macam nilah nasib penumpang, tumpang sekejap je, tak lama lagi orang lain akan ambil balik.

Ada satu benda yang perlu saya persoalkan. Tentang mentaliti wanita muslim Malaysia khususnya kaum Melayu mengenai hak lelaki berkahwin empat. Mengenai hukum undang-undang keluarga Islam. Kenapa majoriti yang saya dengar setakat ini cakap, undang-undang keluarga Islam tidak adil?

Tapi bila soalan yang sama ditanya kepada wanita muslim dari Indonesia yang tahap pendidikannya jauh lebih randah dan hidup susah boleh cakap, undang-undang Islam sudah terbukti sangat adil. yang menjadikannya tidak adil ialah manusia itu sendiri.

Kenapa wanita muslim Malaysia tak boleh bezakan hukum yang Allah tetapkan dengan hukum manusia? Kenapa sampai hati cakap, hukum keluarga Islam tak adil? Sedangkan yang ditemu bual tu belajar tinggi sampai universiti?  Sungguh, saya kecewa.

Saya sedih.

Friday, February 25, 2011

She's always a woman to me







She can kill with her smile,
She can wound with her eyes
But she's always a woman to me.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Realistic vs. Optimistic

Finally. After holding it down, NO, After fourteen hours forcing it to burst. It burst out just like that. I wonder what take it so long  for the eyes to wet. Can't you just do it 10 hours ago?

I want to be realistic. Something wrong with that? It's not that I'm pushing away my optimism but still being realistic is the best way, at least for now.I don't wanna be selfish anymore. If I'm not compatible, then why not just being positive about it and let's not waste any  time. I just want everyone to be happy.

Let's not have pity or being sympathy on me because I hate it when people look at me and feel sorry for me. Dear people, this person you are looking at is still alive, and she's doing her best to cope with everything and yes, she didn't ask for her family's help when she actually can. I don't need your sympathy. I just want you to understand and that is it.

p/s I'm still holding to my one and only objective for this year. To know more. It has nothing to do with grades and pointers. Besides, can't you see it  yet? I always hate the system.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Of suffer, bless, ignorant

Today, more blessing comes hiding underneath my God endless test. At first I really fecking tired with all these. I felt hopeless, lonely and finally almost burst into silence tears (which is no stranger to me), my knees weaken, my head's heavy.

But again He came offering warm hand and embrace. Pulling me over His bossom, let me smell His tenderness, His affection, His love. The only thing I really want right now is my mum to hug me, stroking my hair, patting my shoulder and say, "Husshh... it's going to be alright." To bad I can't hardly recall when was the last time I ever experienced those. But today, He hugs me in my sleep. My most peaceful afternoon sleep with body temperature rising to the top again.

He send me one brave and strong girl yesterday. To tell me her story, her suffering. And deep down I said to myself how can I ever compare the test Allah has given me with her's? She suffers to the point she has no Ringgit to spend on RM 1.20 bar of soap to clean her body. Hearing this, I cursed myself for being such a terrible friend. How can I simply let my own classmate lives that kind of life for almost a year and a half ? Astaghfirullah... how can I still dreaming of jumping into heaven easily with me being so ignorant of terrible things happen around me?

Thank you Allah. For everything. Thank you Allah for the lessons.