Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Journey never ends

Last Sunday was my ultimate moment of truth. I finally find what I've been missing all this time. That missing jigsaw to complete a puzzle. And that puzzle is me.

That one jigsaw is so precious that to finally found it cost me a lot of courage, patience, and money. And I'm glad I just smile during the hard time.

Search back the promise. Your own promise to Allah when He first blow your ruh into your body. Our promise to REMEMBER Allah in our heart 24/7.

Image source

Sunday, July 21, 2013

The Promise

I don't know if you readers ever feel what I feel lately.
Empty. I pray, we pray but still our akhlak was even more ugly than the non muslim.
I always thought by praying five times a day, did some solat sunnah during the wee hour would cleanse my filthy heart.

But still I know there's something missing.
I know deep down I have to find a way to track what is it that missing.
And since I've been searching...

Until one day my silat teacher said to me during our practice,
 "I've met my guru's religious guru. He teach me to continue holding on to our promise to Allah when we're still in the womb."  So I asked, 'what is the promise then?' 'Read the first revelation sent upon our beloved prophet.'

There... it hit me.
My spiritual journey is about to be embark once again.
Pray for me.

Found this on Facebook, not sure bout the 'rub dub dub'. But on thing for sure, we are OBLIGED to remember Allah in our heart 24/7.

Para saintis telah
Membuktikan bahawa,
Suara yang
datang daripada

denyutan jantung adalah
"Lub Dub"
Tetapi Kini mereka 
analisis bahawa, Ia adalah
'Rub Dub Dub' adalah Bahasa Arab
perkataan yang bermaksud
1 yang buat satu sama
dan Segala yang berkaitan dengan
Alam Semesta, Dan
yang mempunyai
perintah dalam
Itu adalah "Allah"
Jadi ia bermakna Tiap-tiap
Degupan jantung berkata:

Saturday, June 29, 2013

The Beacon

Ever feeling dejavu hearing to a song that the lyrics sounds too much like you?

 I am the You

Song - The beacon Performed by A Fine Frenzy

Saturday, June 8, 2013


Last Friday the 7th of June marks another turning point in my life. A dear friend finally leaving for a better promising future. Although we can never expect rainbow all the way but sure we can expect some sun in the middle of the pouring rain.

I have live for almost 25 years and have been through many farewell. But.. this one is different.

"When there has been so much love and happiness for someone, it is natural to be reluctant to close such a wonderful chapter in our life. For moving forward is rarely accomplished without considerable grief and sadness. And while our sorrow maybe profound, the clouds will clear and the sun will shine on us again. And in that warm bright light we will find ourselves facing a glorious future. A future of exciting challenges and infinite possibility in which the horizon will stretch out before us rimmed in the heavenly glow of the sunrise of our tomorrow."  - The Prince and Me.

To that beautiful soul, thank you for crossing my path in this winding journey of mine. We'll see each other again, if not here, maybe in another infinite world. You are one of the few person that I cannot classified what's the reason for me to be so close to you...I guess Allah has His own reason.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

AKU disini

 Jatuh cinta dengan sajak karangan Rumi. Aku salin yang asal dalam bahasa Inggeris dan terjemah sendiri ke bahasa Melayu. Harap semua maklum bahawa Rumi merupakan ahli sufi, jadi sajak-sajak beliau mempunya maksud yang sangat mendalam dan tidak boleh dibaca sekali lalu saja tanpa mentafsir ertinya. 

 Saban malam, ada seorang lelaki memanggil "Allah"
Hingga bibirnya luka berdarah.
Datang Penasihatnya berkata, "Wahai si Dungu!
...kenapa setelah saban malam memanggil
Tak pernah aku dengar Allah menjawab, "AKU disini?"
Tuan bersungguh-sungguh memanggil tapi...
Terus terang saya katakan, SIA-SIA!"

Lelaki itu kemudian berasa kosong dan seperti ditinggalkan.
Tertekan, dia terus berbaring di lantai
Dan tertidur dengan nyenyaknya.
Dalam mimpinya, dia berjumpa satu malaikat yang bertanya kepadanya,
"Kenapa kamu berputus asa memanggil Allah?

Jawab lelaki itu, "Aku sudah jenuh memanggil,
Namun Allah tak pernah menjawab, "AKU disini."

Malaikat itu membalas, "Sebenarnya Allah ada berfirman,
Kamu memanggil namaKu, ialah jawapanKu.
Kamu ingin dekat denganKu ialah pelajaranKu untukmu.
Semua usahamu untuk mendekatiKu,
Sebenarnya ialah usahaKu untuk mendekatimu.
Takut dan Cintamu ialah tali untuk 'menangkapKu.'
Dalam kesunyian yang membaluti setiap yang memanggil nama Allah,
Menunggu disebaliknya seribu jawapan "AKU disini."


All night, a man called “God”                                
Until his lips were bleeding.
Then his Adversary said, “Hey! Mr Gullible!
... How comes you’ve been calling all night
And never once heard God say, “Here, I AM”?
You call out so earnestly and, in reply, what?
I’ll tell you what. Nothing!”

The man suddenly felt empty and abandoned.
Depressed, he threw himself on the ground
And fell into a deep sleep.
In a dream, he met an angel, who asked,
“Why are you regretting calling out to God?”

The man said, “ I called and called
But God never replied, “Here I AM.”

The Angel explained, “God has said,
“Your calling my name is My reply.
Your longing for Me is My message to you.
All your attempts to reach Me
Are in reality My attempts to reach you.
Your fear and love are a noose to catch Me.
In the silence surrounding every call of “God”  
Waits a thousand replies of “Here I AM.”