Saturday, October 9, 2010

My agony of remorse

Taken from darrowart.com

This one will be a little bit personal...

I've denied it for hundreds of time. I told myself that I can move on and live life like nothing ever happen. I told myself "I don't need to see nor 'hear' her words anymore."

But I lied.

I've always think about her. I've always worried to sick about her. She's a cancer survivor, so sometimes she is very weak physically and mentally. She's too far from me logistically,  so words is all I got to give. She always said my words reminds her of someone. Someone she used to dear so much and having to see my words is kind of a temporary emancipation from her hopeless dream.

I was very pleased. She's like a big sister I never had in reality and to be honest I always wanted one.

Things started to change with time...I spent lesser time 'with' her because somehow you cannot make everyone happy isn't that it? And as for me, I've 'observed' her from afar and from there I made my final decision.

It's time to stop.

Why?

I don't want my words reminds her again of that someone. I know she hated it. She seems fine now, she's not like who she is five months ago. She better off without my words. This is one sacrifice I made for you sis...and I'm sorry even though deep down I really miss the old you. But the old you isn't good for you.

Be happy sis.

2 comments:

ken said...

it takes time to move on.. =)

almutarjimah said...

I did move on it just that sometimes I looked back and thinking how cruel I am.