Call me uptown girl... I don't care!

Today, to be exact this afternoon my head suddenly ringing this familiar tune. The O.C's intro tone, sigh~ I can't remember the last time I'd watch that show. I can still remember vividly how I grew up with all these popular american drama series. I mean, 'they' are my English teacher so here's the prove how the language have affects me.

Maxwell and Popular was my first 'break through' teens drama obsessions, and then came Dawson Creek, The O.C, Friends, Charmed (of course! my fav was Piper), One Tree Hill and list goes on. Back then there was no computer, don't even mention internet. I barely know what it means at the time. All I know, internet is IT lol which is very funny to even be remembered. So, don't be surprise if I said I have never listen to the full theme song for The O.C until today (finally!)

So here's to anyone who shares my the spot in my stinky shoes. I give you California by Phantom Planet, The O.C theme song.

A sudden "Hi"

Bismillah

I had enough with sighing of life. I had enough doing it and I had enough hearing people grunting over their so called dismay. It is a never ended "process' I thought. 

Anyhow, a very lovely friend text me today at work. She's using another unknown number again but somehow I can tell by instinct it was her. And bull's eye it is. Have the feeling I'm loving this kind of game communication  of guessing whose who among close buddies.

Alhamdulillah, she and her baby is healthy. I can wait no more for June to come and sweep me away to Kelantan. And I can't wait to did some gold hahaha ...lately, I lost interest with money and suddenly Gold came says 'Hi'. Weird, I never liked gold in my life, besides I always turn down my mom's offer to buy me gold accessories.But wait a sec, I still hate the sight of gold on my bodies but hehehe I love the fact when my precious gold "gave birth" in her lair. 

So, new New Year resolution is say ok to gold investment! 

What's up with the silence?

I have this disease that I have no idea what the brainy Einstein people named it. But because of this 'abnormality' I forced myself to enroll in abnormal psychology class. And guess what I did managed to found the name of some my 'disease'. The teacher, Dr Afendi said all human being will "suffer" for at least one type of abnormality in his/her life.

I suffer a lot since I actually have this kind of stress that slowly develop since childhood.I have or should I say I don't have the guts to be open about how I feels, so I tend to AVOID and try my best to forget. Many knows me for being someone so brave but inside I'm actually fragile. The only way to build the brave shield is to be tough on myself. And that took years of hardwork. 

Whenever I am in a situation that I found uncomfortable I'll put on my brave face and people think this girl have no problem to handle such situation. But what many doesn't know is after I put on that brave face, my heart will slowly but rapidly scream "CUT IT OUT!"  and somehow it will grew louder but that will at least took minimum 6 hours to start crumbling destroying the brave face. At the mean time, during the 6 hour my brave face did a very good job hiding the aching heart and mind. 

After brave face time comes to an end and...if the source of aching come striking another attack, that's when I will totally break-down. The Tears as I call it will finally come and accompanied the aching heart. 

So, to avoid The Tears I have develop this habit of locking myself in Silence Mood. Simply because I can't handle The Tears and the aching part. And by the way, I never shared my tears, I'm always alone all this time. Being the eldest of 5, ALONE is no longer a stranger. 

Karena Hati Itu Bicara

Dengan nama Allah aku menulis

Saya pernah baca satu hadith yang menyebut hati itu ialah organ pertama manusia yang dicipta dari segumpal darah. Dalam banyak-banyak organ, hati lah yang pertama dibentuk dalam susuk janin. Dan ironinya, manusia masih belum dapat memahami hati walaupun sudah berdamping dengannya sejak hari pertama hati terbentuk lebih dahulu dari organ yang lainnya.

Dari hati lahir pula berjuta rasa. Rasa yang sukar sekali untuk difahami baik empunya hati ataupun orang lain. Orang kata hati itu sering bicara, jadi mungkin sekali orang lain dapat memahami rasa yang berjuta itu jika hanya hati yang berbicara sesama hati.

Tutup mulutmu. Mulut ternyata sering menyimpangkan dialog hati. Daripada elok bisa mungkin jadi sebaliknya. Kata-kata sering sekali terdengar tajam dek akal yang tidak memahami hati. Ya...mungkin sukar juga buat kalian menyimpulkan kata-kata bertulis ini, kerana mungkin sekali hati kita tidak saling bicara. Yang bicara hanya prasangka.


*Video klip ini tiada kena -mengena denga entry